"Good liberal" @GraceDent writes bad article that treats children as ifthey are evil

This article is full of the kind of obnoxious and unempathetic lack of nuance that creates exactly the kind of culture where young people become "radicalised": http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/if-teenage-girls-want-to-join-isis-in-the-face-of-all-its-atrocities-then-they-should-leave-and-never-return-10065516.html 

We never solve anything by denying the humanity of humans. Children and young people need love and support (as do adults) but they live in a society where they are under attack from the policies of political parties and the reportage of the media. That's all kids I'm talking about although of course some have enough privilege to allow them to be less damaged by our anti-youth culture. 

But what about kids who exist in the intersection of multiple oppressions? What about kids who are told every day that they don't belong? Who exist in a racist, islamophobic, classist and sexist culture that says they are lesser in loads of other ways. In a culture that claims to be a democracy but where no one feels like they have power and the options for who to vote for are massively limited (not that many young people are old enough to vote). A culture that is at war with countries full of people. People who look might like you or practice the same religion as you and who your country is systematically murdering. Whilst at the same time it's clear your country are selectively murdering since other countries where people look like you or practice your religion are not bothered at all because they are "allies" which means attacking them not in the interests of those in power. 

And then of course there are personal factors to do with your upbringing, your brain chemistry, and the like that can help cause people to make mistakes or even to do terrible things. 

Surely trying to understand people's reasons or motivations for hurting others is essential if you want to stop people hurting each other. Surely remembering that all people, no matter how terrible their actions, are people is just seeing reality. All are a part of the global and national cultures that we are also a part of. We do not exist in isolation from each other.

Considering the kind of things I am articulating terribly above is not the same as condoning murder or torture or any of the other crimes committed by ISIS or the British Government or the bloke who lives next door or anyone else. Nor does putting those three entities in the same sentence mean I am saying they do violence in the same ways or for the same reasons. 

But you don't stop hate with hate. You don't understand things better by being ignorant. We can oppose evil actions whilst remembering that the people who do them are not evil. We are all products of our nature and our nurture and our culture. 

We can fill our prisons full of every marginalised person we can find, we can fight violence with violence, we can send in troops and drones to every country in the world and we will not solve the problems we face. We will create more and more problems instead. And the people with the money and the power will still have the money and the power. And I tell you who doesn't have the money and the power: Teenage girls.

I'd like to acknowledge that I say all this from a position of privilege. I don't fully understand what it is like to be from a marginalised group because I am not in one. But such concerns clearly don't give Grace Dent pause for thought before she writes this kind if garbage in a national newspaper. 

I'd prefer to hear what teenage girls of colour and/or faith have to say than Grace Dent or me. They would have a lot more insight. But they don't get to write for national newspapers.

And why not talk to teenagers rather than about them!

If anyone decides that the appropriate comment on this post is to accuse me of supporting terrorism, or wants to discuss how evil any humans are, they will be wasting their time. I am really sick of that argument. It is not supporting terrorism to understand terrorists are human (all kinds of terrorist not just the official ones). 

Platform Games

I'm very sad to see some of the names on this list: http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/2015/feb/14/letters-censorship My personal view is they didn't fully appreciate what they were signing. That's what I hope anyway. 

First off the incident that the letter is framed around is not even an example of "no platforming" as the gig in question was not going to be picketed (unless it was to be spontaneous) and the reasons for the cancelation were not down to a no platform policy at all. Which is not to say lots of media and individuals haven't framed it that way. I've read all sides and also saw the dispute that started it all happening live on twitter and these are the two sources I think get closest to the reality of it:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/society/11386478/Kate-Smurthwaite-the-comedian-who-confused-no-interest-with-no-platform.html

http://goldsmithscomedy.tumblr.com/post/110341190859/i-originally-asked-kate-to-headline-a-night-we-put

But regardless of the accuracy of the incident in question what about "no platforming" in general? That is definitely something that happens. It is something the letter tacitly endorses for people whose views they (and I) object to: ie fascists. But that they object to when applied to people they agree with. And some of those people hold views I often find  just as objectionable as fascists. I defend the right of people to express their objectionable views. If they face state censorship, violence or imprisonment I would hold my nose and support them. But that isn't the same as denying them a platform. 

Not that I would personally advocate no platforming any of the individuals in question. I think a more useful political strategy is to picket and protest their events rather than to give the speakers the martyrdom they find in being "denied" a platform. I always think of Nick Griffin proudly wearing his gag. 

Fear of free speech being exercised in the form of protest is one of the elements that led to the incident that started this. The right of people to protest is a very important free speech. We should support the rights of people we don't agree with to protest. 

The right to be given a platform however is not really to do with free speech. Someone being no platformed by a group or institution is not them being prevented from speaking. They are being prevented from speaking at a specific place because that group don't want them there. Whether you agree with that groups decision or not has nothing to do with it. No one has the automatic right to speak in universities. Who gets to speak in universities is of course an incredibly complex and often problematic matrix of politics, power and privilege. There are lots of criticisms to be made of how that works and strategies that we can take to deal with it. But framing it around free speech is just disingenuous. 

When the people we are claiming are "silenced" are journalists and authors with national and international reputations, books, columns and the like, it becomes an even flimsier argument. 

Another problem with the letter is it is specifically partisan but pretends not to be. It frames the arguments that surround this conflict as being anti-feminists verses feminists. It is not. It is two different feminisms attacking each other. (And even that description is reductive.) One of those feminisms has a wider voice and more access to platforms and they are the people who wrote this letter (which got published in a national newspaper.) 

I wouldn't say all the signatories of this letter are aware of this. I doubt the nuance of the debates was communicated to them. Free Speech is a very important thing. And so it can be used to scare people. Ironically into things that limit free speech such as anti-terrorism laws, anti-protest laws, actual censorship and the like. In this case it can be used to say both that people from marginalised groups shouldn't be listened to because they are bullies (I'd suggest you will find bullying on both sides of this conflict) and also that people who already have a platform should be allowed to speak from every platform. That isn't free speech it is power consolidating it's position. 

And finally the idea of what violence is is again a contested and complicated issue. You can argue transphobic or whorephobic academia or comedy leads to actual violence just as you can argue it for white supremacist or misogynist academia or comedy. Plus some people who get no platformed have done worse than just using language in a violent way, some support conversion therapy, police violence and the doxxing of individuals. 

As I have said I support free speech and am sad about all the attacks on it we have going on at the moment. But no platforming isn't one of those attacks.

There are many acts I wouldn't book to perform at my nights because I find them objectionable. That is technically no platforming them. Should I be expected to book anyone who wants a platform? 

I'm not being given a platform to speak at every university in the country. This is clearly an attack on free speech.

I was a teenage "lolcow"

This article from boing boing on the continuing development of GG and 8chan is very scary and interesting. 

(http://boingboing.net/2015/01/19/invasion-boards-set-out-to-rui.html) 

One of the things that interests me is the critical framework that these bullies are building around their behaviour. For example:

A "lolcow" is who I was between the ages of 12 and when I finally got into the moderate safety of the 6th Form (I didn't fully shake it till I left school). Walking around the school for most other kids I was just a way to generate lulz, and responding with retreat, fear or defiance were all adequate responses. I always gave them what they wanted: a reaction. 

At the height of my bullying experiences an actual in person suicide threat was met with more goading for lulz. So I can't begin to imagine how a awful it can get online where bullies are removed and abstracted from the people they are attacking. Especially as online becomes offline too with this horrible practice of doxxing. I am so glad I was bullied before Facebook existed as it meant I could escape it for some of the time. 

Bullying is never offline though. It is always at it's worse inside the  "lolcows" head. Where it can't be turned off.

Word Hack

If you have words that you use that you learnt to use because you grew up in a culture that likes to "other" people which you don't want to use because you don't want to "other" people you might find this life hack useful. 

These are the words I have left to get rid of. Who knows what words I will add in the future? If you have a word I use that you think I shouldn't please always let me know. (I will ignore you if I either disagree after contemplation of you are suggesting it to fuck with me.)

10 years ago I would have included sex worker, and more ableist terms.20 years ago gay as a pejorative term and a problematic term for mixed race people. Most of them went more easily than these last 4. Generally I just needed the meaning of the word explained to me. Gay took the longest because of "irony" which is strange as this word and much more homophobic terms were used towards me when I was growing up. But at the time that usage was even more normalised than now. My gay friends used it that way. Words are complicated. That's why you can't ban them. But you can decide not to use them or to change your usage.  

Many other problematic words were never part of my vocabulary but they may have been part of yours. You can't change the moment in history you were born into but I guess you can change yourself. I've had some success. Hopefully I'll have more. I'm no supporter of enforced language change but I am in favour of us questioning it's use and consciously evolving our language. Because language matters as anyone who has been repeatedly subjected to slurs will tell you. Words do hurt you. Words have hurt me and I have hurt people with words. Use them advisedly is my advice. If you choose to want to change your words it still takes time and is difficult. I've found this hack really helpful. 

It's particularly useful because the time when words hurt people the most is when they come into contact with them. When writing on my phone I am often addressing at least a bunch of people with diverse experiences. I wouldn't want them to feel I thought "intelligence" or mental health are things I would judge them for. 

This hack is a development of something @judeinlondon tweeted.

How to rid your tweets of ableist language in two steps pic.twitter.com/hGOq9pOXDD
— Congolesa Rice (@judeinlondon) September 21, 2014

Bonfire night:

Where we burn a pretend human to celebrate a moment when the ruling class stopped some other members of the ruling class who had different religious leanings from blowing up a building. The gunpowder plotters weren't just thwarted, they were hunted down with the survivors of the chase being hung, drawn and quartered. But still might as well pick one of those rich Catholics who wanted a different flavour of monarch and make them into a symbol of how dissent will be punished. Let's tell children this is a story about bad people being thwarted or about how revolutions can't happen. And let's get people to gather together to pretend to burn a person. 

Not that Catholics weren't being persecuted by the state of course. The persecution of either side of the religious divide however could be argued to be down to which ruling class was winning: kings v popes. 

I like bonfires, don't get me wrong. I enjoy fireworks (in moderation so I'll be avoiding tonight's smoke filled semi warzone).  

But bonfire night spins and distorts history and celebrates state control. 

Remember, remember the 5th of November: torture, murder and lies. 

Why I signed the petition against #SamaritansRadar

I think this app whilst well intentioned will do damage to people who are vulnerable in myriad ways. It will enable people to harass and bully other's more efficiently, it will cause people to feel guilty and responsible when they can't help their friends, it will cause discord and confusion between friends and acquaintances and it will mean that people will feel unsafe using social media and their voices will no longer be heard. As someone with mental health issues who loves people with mental health issues and wants people to be supported and that love and empathy and care are important I have signed this petition asking twitter and the Samaritans to pay attention to the large amount of feedback on this. (Feedback being given by people who use twitter and who have mental health issues, the very people this app is supposed to be for.) For some people this may be a life and death issue, vulnerable people who are already suicidal and then are exposed to abuse, and I don't want any of those lives lost.

(The reason I stress the love and empathy bit is not to say I'm a good person, trust me I'm under no illusions of that, or to say I'm unusual in thinking these things are important, it is to emphasise that the exact things the app thinks it is helping to spread are the things the system in practice lacks.)

https://www.change.org/p/twitter-inc-shut-down-samaritans-radar

O brave new tweet/ That has such content in't!

What a piece of work is my tweet! 

How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! 

In form and moving how express and admirable!

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,

Creeps in this petty feed from day to day,

To the last retweet of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted tweets

The way to dusty death. 

Out, out, brief twitterhandle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor tweeter,

That struts and frets his hour upon the feed,

And then is heard no more.

It is a tweet typed by an idiot,

 full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

O, reason not the feed! Our basest twitters

Are in the poorest thing superfluous.

Allow not nature more than nature needs, 

Tweet's life's as cheap as beast's.

Now is the winter of our discon-tweet

Made glorious summer by this prime content.

And all the subtweets that lowered upon our house

In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

If these twitters have offended,

Think but this, and all is mended:

That you have but retweeted here,

While these visions did appear;

And this weak and idle meme,

No more yielding but a dream,

Gentles, do not reprehend.

If you @ us, we will mend.

The Last Week...

So as I approach the last week in my job the thing I'm finding the hardest is dealing with other people's sadness. Having to navigate so many other people's feelings about me having my job cut when I've already got so many feelings of my own. I feel sad because I'm leaving a job I have loved (in varying degrees) for the last 5 or so years. I feel lost, scared of the free fall that is freelance that approaches so fast and so slow. There's no security in my future and I'm dealing with this at the same time as I'm managing and finally acknowledging my long standing cycles of anxiety and depression. I'm also sad for the children and parents losing the service me and my team provided. And all the other even more essential services. I feel sad at a society cutting public services whilst protecting and pandering to the rich. And I feel sad just on the personal level of saying goodbye to so many people I have worked with, the children I have seen growing up, the colleagues and parents I have come to know. 

And at every centre when I tell my groups I am going everyone wants to share with me how sad they are about it. Everyone wants to tell me how much they value what I do, the effect that me and my team have had on them and their children. People tell me how angry it makes them. They ask me what I'm going to do. They have so many suggestions about what I might do. Everyone offers advice and sympathy. Next week I expect they'll also be offering presents and goodbye speeches. 

When I tell them I am going freelance they assume I'm doing children's work. When I start to mumble about audio production and hosting storytelling nights they look at me like I'm suddenly strange and unfamiliar. My plan sounds ridiculous in my mouth. 

I am overwhelmed by all the love and the sadness. I am overwhelmed by the scatter gun advice. I am overwhelmed by the powerlessness of all concerned. I know it's all meant well. I mostly manage to take it in good grace. I save my tears for the walk home. 

The worst thing is when the kids are sad, there eyes are so big, their hearts so exposed. The worst thing is imagining the ones who look forward to seeing me every week coming in the first week I'm not there. Too young to understand why and yet so young that in the future they probably wont remember I was ever there at all. Young enough to feel the loss but too young to remember the joy we had when then look back. 

Children give the best heckles:

Me: There are lots of frogs around at the moment...

Child 1: There are lots of dragons around at the moment. I like dragons. They are big and breathe fire. They are my favourite animal. 

Child 2: I like dinosaurs. They are MY favourite animal. 

Child 3: I like crocodiles!

Me: Well, dragons are really great animals but sadly they don't exist. Dinosaurs are also great animals but they lived a very long time ago and aren't around anymore. Crocodiles are also great but you don't really find them in this country. Anyway frogs...

#TimeToTalk

Today is #timetotalk which is set up to get people talking about mental health issues, to combat the stigma and make those of us who experience them feel less alone, and to encourage people to actively try to get help. 

Some of you who know me personally may be aware that I experience a wonderful combination of anxiety and depression with additional sprinklings of rage. I have panic attacks generally triggered by crowds or similar claustrophobic moments. 

I've had Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and found it useful. I've never been able to get talking therapy on the NHS but I'm lucky as I have a conversation based podcast that has really helped. I'm currently not interested in medication although I know many who it works very well for. I do drink far far less often than when I was younger as people occasionally note. That's helpful. 

I've always been very open about the rage part because I like to wallow in guilt and put people in positions where they can think the worst of me (whilst desperately hoping they won't.) Although ironically that's the part I've always had the most success in controlling. It took me years to admit to myself I suffer from depression and anxiety, partly because since I "cope" I've never felt those labels were mine, knowing so many friends and family members who suffer those conditions more acutely or other conditions that are life debilitating. Even writing this I am battling the thoughts telling me I'm a fake who is appropriating others pain. But I know that is just my self-loathing and anxiety talking. 

The thing about trying to deal with these things alone (still my default instinct sadly) is it makes you isolated as well as anxious and depressed. Also it means that the only person who sees me at my worst, who has to deal with all the shit I'm holding back and hiding it my partner, which in turn makes me feel guilty about that too. It amazes me that she's stuck with me these last 13 years considering how terrible I have often been to live with. 

And let's be clear when I'm talking about depression I'm not talking about feeling sad, I'm talking about wishing that I didn't exist, that I was rubbed out, that nothingness could embrace me. It's not sad it's empty, it's numb, although inside that numbness or maybe behind it are the squirming maggots of anxiety telling me I'm worthless, toxic, ugly, weak, pathetic etc...

Anyway, there we go, that's me. Or rather one facet of many that form me. Not one I want to be defined by but one that I am sick of denying. 

I think talking is good. And the more we talk about difficult issues the better it is for everyone. But not everyone is ready. Not everyone has access to safe ears to listen. Attitudes out there are pretty shitty. Let's try and talk more and listen more. Let's try and be understanding. 

Here's a conversation I had with my Aunt that talks about her much more severe mental health issues.

https://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-125-margaret

The reason I am wearing these rings...

This morning shortly after waking up I was put into a coffin dead with a load of vampires, skeletons and Cleopatra but luckily I was found by an explorer employed by the Queen of Canada. This explorer explained to me that I was dead but she could make me alive. She had better do it quick because Cleopatra wanted to mummify me and she apparently takes people's brains out of their skulls through their noses with tweezers. That didn't sound fun so I was pleased that the explorer was also the Queen of Canada's chief medical practitioner. She slowly took me through a series of medical treatments (some of which also involved hairdressing expertise) which ended in major surgery to restore my facial expressions. There was no anaesthetic but there was a blindfold. The doctor plays the Sugerbabes when operating and has to apply perfume during procedures to protect herself from dying. These rings we're then applied to keep me alive. After a week they can be removed and I will be fully alive. 

Apparently all this would have been solved quicker if we'd removed my beard. 

#InternationalMensDay #IMD #IMD2013

I am not an international man because I do not recognise the bullshit values of male honour, patriarchal family structures and patriotism. These are the ways patriarchy oppresses men and are not something to be celebrated: 

http://www.internationalmensday.com

Bat Contradictions: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/15/batkid-san-francisco-charity-make-wish

I do find this story heartwarming and at times it brings tears to my eyes when I consider the community spirit and compassion that went into it. Those bits in the movies always get me from "I'm Sparticus" to It Could Happen to You. And it's great to see people coming together and people embracing the magical and absurd. It is a candle in the darkness. 

But it also makes me think about how this magic event for one lucky kid is such a stark contrast to the lives of many kids. It makes me wonder why something like this happens for a child recovering from cancer and yet children with the preventable and human caused conditions of poverty and war do not get such amazing moments. 

I find myself questioning the value of a charity that provides wonderful moments to individual children who already have some luck and privilege going for them rather than putting those resources elsewhere. Even as I love them for making something so beautiful for all the rightest of right reasons. 

It's a complicated mass of contradictions and overlapping truths really. Like most things in life. 

One thing that I also find conflicting is that part of it involved the helpless woman tied up and saved by a hero trope. Which I'm not sure I'd advocate infusing the next generation with. 

@GBApodcast: What you might have missed:

So recently the feed on my podcast stopped working for a bit. 

The episodes of the GettinhBetter Acquainted (www.gettingbetteracquainted.co.uk) podcast that you may have missed due to feed issues are below. If you follow this link: 

https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/getting-better-acquainted/id436643148 

you can resubscribe to the now properly working iTunes feed where they are all now available. Your old feed will look like it should work but it doesn't. 

Samantha Feeney #2 - relationships falling apart, becoming a single parent, getting your life back together and embracing a new start.

John Adamthwaite - playwriting, theatre, how to fit writing plays into your life and if it's a medium that is relevant the modern world.

Charley Lucy Harrison - family, divorce, storytelling, comedy, bitcoin, complicated childhoods, rat based tragedy and everybody's wall's.

Carl Jackson - travelling around the world, neuroscience, culture and the merely real.

Nina Gray - bullying, complicated childhoods, feminism(s), mental health, France, twitter and spider diagrams.

Paul Jerome Anderton - equal marriage, immigration, life changes and the death of his father. Running through everything a sense of history. 

Caz Dyer - changing perspectives and perceptions, Honduras, plans to cycle from the UK to Africa, teenage stories from the POV of an ex "Mean Girl" and an ex "severely bullied geek".

The Osmaston Family Special - A personal journey into the unknown territories of family history featuring rediscovered wartime diaries, the legacy of the British Empire, childhoods in India filled with tigers and elephants, engineering the industrial revolution, walking on graves, landed gentry and confronting the judgement of my 15 year old self.

And...

Tony Hickson - knife throwing accidents, impersonating Elvis on Channel 5, being a paparazzi photographer, transgressive art, travelling with the Circus, the World Gurning Championships, and serial killer puppet shows.

#RemembranceSunday: There is NOTHING honourable about war!

WW1 was not a time when people gave their lives for our freedoms. It was a time when the ruling classes of many countries slaughtered a generation of men. And in that atrocity the conditions were created that led to WW2. The war was not a war to end all wars it was a war that spawned war. We are currently engaged in wars. We have not learned from our remembrance. We don't call our wars world wars now because they don't involve the civilian population (of our country, not in the countries that receive our troops and our drones.) 

The brave and not brave men and the women and children who also struggled through these atrocities should not be forgotten. And part of that remembrance is the responsibility for us to remember things accurately and in context. 

The wars have never been an abstract thing for me. My father was in the army during WW2 and whilst he had an incredibly lucky war many of his friends did not. He has always talked about it. I am proud that my Grandfather was a conscientious objector in both world wars (luckily his hypocratic oath meant he wasn't imprisoned or murdered for this principled position the way many "free" men were.) And I know many people who have or had grandparents who fought in the Wars. The sympathy and empathy we feel for these people we know is the same we should feel for those who are at war now.

Also our "freedom" is not unconditional nor universal. The men and women who fight our wars don't do so to give future generations freedom. They do it because they are ordered and paid to do it. They do it because they have little or no choice. 

Peace offers freedom and we don't have peace. Some of us, the lucky and privileged ones, have the illusion of peace. The illusions of freedom and choice. But that is not the case either globally or nationally. 

Remember the dead, grieve for them. I can understand donating to the veterans  although since it was the state that harmed them arguably it should be the state that gives them reparations. 

There are principled and reasonable POV's in terms of wearing or not wearing a red or white poppy, donating to or not donating to the poppy appeal, observing or not observing the silence. But patriotism and mythologising are not a part of that. 

Don't use Remembrance Sunday to lie to yourself. Teenagers crying in the dirt, covered in blood and full of fear. That's who those poor people in the trenches were. And all over the world we still have teenagers in the same horrible position. They are there because of the intensions and interests not of themselves but of the people running the wars. 

There is NOTHING honourable about war. 

#solidarity with #teacherROAR

I generally have a problem with public sector strikes. But that problem isn't with people fighting for better (or just not worse) conditions. That problem comes from the laws against general strikes, from the laws that dictate you can only strike for your own self-interest, that basically legislate against solidarity. And of course you can only strike if you are in a union (ie have one available and the money to pay into it) which locks out many people from the opportunity to withdraw labour for collective political aims. 

This results in problematic situations where better paid groups of people strike to maintain their own position and their strike makes life terrible for the lowest paid in society. Which is very different from how strikes function in the private sector. One of the many many ways that public and private sector are different!

A transport strike for example may mean un-unionised poor families go hungry because they can't get to work or can't arrange childcare for the extra hours involved. And the strike won't help them get paid more. It won't improve their working conditions. And you aren't allowed to strike for improvement for all. For say free public transport or cheaper public transport. Strikes under modern law are only legal if they are going to divide people. 

The teachers strike is different (although it will of course still divide people.) 

Here is their statement

But the reason it is different is that it is as close to a solidarity based strike as you can get without being arrested. 

Because children are not paid anything to go to school. They have no contract of employment. If teachers lose their holiday and work longer hours and have systematic things put in place to make it harder to teach, and to teach well, then all that is also being done to children. And as usual the poorest children will suffer the most from that. Children don't have power in society and it is up to adults to protect them. 

Parents and teachers should be on the same page on this. Many parents aren't of course, particularly the poorer ones who see better off teachers asking for more. And who have the same kind of problems the poor always get when essential services are denied to them, childcare, salary loss, extra stress during hard times, etc...

But if the teachers don't manage to stem this tide it will be the children who suffer the most. That's the children of public and private sector workers, that's the future adults who will inherit so much shit already to try and deal with. 

And talking about attacking the poor and taking public services away from people, if you think a days strike is bad look at the general policies of the Coalition government. How many disabled people have died due to being found fit to work?

And to address the strawman issues. The actual ones teachers have to list as their main reasons to strike hours, pay and pensions:

Teachers already work long hours. They  work far longer than their hours, and whilst their job isn't manual labour (and I think teachers talking about it as if it is need to spend some time working in a factory) it is tiring physically as well as mentally. They have to create an emotional and educational landscape in their classrooms that will engage 30+ kids (and manual labourers talking anout that as easy need to spend some time working in a school.) My step-dad worked in both and I don't think he'd always say working conditions were better in a factory. I think he got physically attacked more working in schools. 

I'm not saying things are equal. Many teachers and definitely head teachers are paid much more than many of the rest of us (although not teachers starting out who are paying off debt etc... on the lowest band of salary). But at present teachers are losing both time and money. Politicians aren't. Bankers aren't. 

Teachers aren't striking for payrises. They are objecting to paying in more money to a pension pot which (rarely for pension pots in 2013) can currently cover itself. 

Pensions are tricky things. Most people my age assume we won't get them and if we do we'll be much older than the current retirement age. Sure it's hard not to see people who have something good when you don't and wish they didn't have it. And teachers areprivileged individuals and they don't all know it, so many of the things they say can, through a lack of awareness about other people's work conditions, pensions, salaries, be aggravating. But that's a reason to point out their privilege (privilege that is nothing compared to Michael Gove's privilege by the way) rather than going to war against them. They are doing an important and thankless job. And they are often working with and for children who are not privileged. 

And they aren't the only ones. Don't forget that schools staying open longer wont just impact on children and teachers. There are lots of other staff in schools. Ones who don't get teachers salaries; teaching assistants, caretakers, office staff, caterers, dinner supervisors. Their lives and working conditions are also under attack. 

This strike is the closest modern law allows to a strike based on principal and solidarity. If the teachers had the pensions and the hours that they want (ie the ones they agreed to when they signed up for teaching) they would still be fighting the education secretary and the horrendous policies being put in place. They would just have less ability to use the withdrawal of labour as leverage. 

We should all be refusing labour until this government stops attacking the people for a crisis created by and for the financial sector and political classes. Gove's department isn't the only one damaging us. 

We won't of course because we would lose our jobs and most of us can't afford to lose pay permanently. Many of us can't afford to lose a days salary. 

But just because teachers can doesn't mean their cause is wrong. 

I offer up full solidarity to the teachers and to the students and to the parents and to everyone being attacked by this governments policies. 

The responsibility for hardships felt by anyone today fall on the wealthy people in power whose divisive policies are designed to protect and extend the inequality that surrounds us and keep us fighting each other rather than fighting for each other. 

Discussing theology with toddlers:

Child 1: Teacher, what's your name?

Me: David. 

Child 1: David. *thinks* There's a David in the bible. 

Me: Yes, there is. King David. But that's not me. I'm not a king. 

Child 1: No! David is a little boy. 

Me: He was when he fought Goliath. But he grows up to be a king. 

Child 2: Yeah, well our dad is Goliath! 

Child 1: Is he?

Child 2: YEAH!

Child 1: Our dad is Goliath. 

Me: Well that's good for him. I'm not going to be fighting him though. I'm not the same David. I don't fight anyone. 

(Child 1 = 3ish, Child 2 = 4ish, they are siblings.)

Edinburgh Festival: Podcasts and Live Shows‏

Hello everyone,

Dave related Edinburgh Fringe Festival News!

Stand Up Tragedy in Edinburgh:

SUT is a night where people stand up and tell tragedy. We make you sad; we make you think; we make you smile. Expect music, comedy, fiction, spoken word, true stories and more, all playing up to the tragic form but not always taking it seriously. The night ends, not with a whimper, not with a bang, but with a cathartic sing-a-long.

We are booked in nightly as part of the Spoken Word at PBH Free Fringe 2013 performing at 6.30pm at the Fiddlers Elbow from the 3rd to the 14th of August. We're also going to be releasing podcasts daily during the Fringe Festival. We'll be kicking off the daily Stand Up Tragedy season with a really amazing piece of true storytelling from comedian Josie Long on the 2nd of August.

We've been releasing podcasts weekly through 2013 and you can listen to them to get a taste of what is in store. They're available on iTunes, Stitcher Smart Radio and Soundcloud.

We have an amazing line-up booked in including Robin Ince, Rob Auton, Sarah Campbell, Jay Foreman, Superbard and more. We have cabaret acts, harpists, magicians, authors, true storytellers, poets, lecturers and more sharing their tragedies at our shows.

So if you are coming to the Fringe come and see us. We are on the Free Fringe so it is free to come and see us (although we will be passing around a hat at the end).

Getting Better Acquainted in Edinburgh:

"Join Dave Pickering on his journey to get better acquainted with the people he knows. There are lots of shows about famous people. This is a show about the rest of us. Part interview show, part oral history project, the show was nominated for a 2012 Radio Production Award and was featured on the Radio 5 Live podcast special, Helen and Ollie's Required Listening. It has just finished it's first season on Resonance FM"

I am also going to be doing my weekly show Getting Better Acquainted at the Fringe. I'll be documenting the Fringe experience in one or two specials and releasing conversations that I record up there. Before that I'm releasing two conversations with remarkable true storytellers who have performed at Stand Up Tragedy. One with Allan Girod whose performance at SUT can be heard here, and the other with Daniel Simpson whose performance goes out on the SUT podcast on August 4th, but you can listen to him tell his story at Spark London here. Daniel will be performing with us again in Edinburgh.

I will also be recording two live GBA's as part of the PBH's Free Fringe 2013 at 1.40pm at the Banshee Labyrinth on the 12th and 13th of August. The guests are still to be confirmed but they will connected to the Festival. Come and join us if you're in town.

If you haven't heard the show yet there are lots of ways you can: It's available through via Stitcher Smart Radio and it's Soundcloud page. At this moment the iTunes feed is currently playing up but you can still get the first 119 episodes and eventually the feed will catch up. You can also follow it on twitter and like it on facebook.

Spark London in Edinburgh:

I may be missing the next Spark Hackney open mic (which I usually host) but to make up for it I'm running a Spark London workshop in Edinburgh. Again this is pas part of the Free Fringe. It's on the 8th August at The Fiddler's Elbow 12.15 - 1.15pm.

The workshop will explore ways to locate stories from your life with the focus on connecting with an audience spontaneously, without the aid of notes. 

The Hackney open mic isn't cancelled however. Radcliffe Royds is filling in for me and the them is Planes, Trains and Automobiles. There's a 2 for 1 offer if you quote "story time" to the box office. So if you're in London on Monday 12th August at 7.30pm why not go tell some stories at the Hackney Attic.


A Maze of Breaths:

Last month we launched A Maze of Breaths: Spoken Word at PBH's Free Fringe. The Stand Up Tragedy team put the album together. 19 tracks that show the variety, quality and energy of the Free Fringe's spoken word community. The whole album is £5 (or more if you wish to give it) and individual tracks are £1 (or more if you wish to give it). I've worked really long and hard on this over the last few weeks and I really think it's a quality album. It has at least something for everyone and is a mix of poetry, storytelling, music, comedy and everything in between. 

http://pbhfreefringespokenword.bandcamp.com/

The @GBApodcast Family Season 2013

All 4 guests new me at a time when I looked like this!

I've had writing this blog on my list of things to do for weeks and I'm only just getting to it now, in the last week of the season of Getting Better Acquainted that it's supposed to comment on. I've been busy editing the season and  the rest of my time has been spent working on the exciting and time consuming task of taking Stand Up Tragedy up to the Edinburgh Festival so it would be easy to put the delay down to that. But that's not quite right. I've been avoiding doing it.

If I'd have been ready to write this blog I would have found the time. Normally if I have a blog to write I do it using my thumbs on my smartphone while walking through the street or travelling on public transport. I needed to write this outside of the noise and barrage of this non-stop life I seem to have made for myself. I needed to write it in quiet reflection. Today I finally got that chance.

Each of the conversations in the Family Season 2012 is a big one for me; in different ways and for different reasons. By having conversations with my family I've been having conversations with myself, with my genetic and social makeup, with the people who make me me. The conversations in this season have been about some of the big narratives and emotions that have shaped my life.

I talked to my dad about women, sex and fidelity and to my mum about rage, depression and becoming like your mother. Both of those conversations exposed me in very different ways; the nature of the way GBA works is that it's an exchange. If I am going to ask people to be open and to share themselves I have to be prepared to do so myself.

With my dad I found myself swapping virginity stories, sharing experiences of sexuality in general and then, to my surprise, discussing with my father whether he should feel guilty towards his children because of his chaotic love life. It wasn't an apology I ever asked for. It isn't an apology I think he should make. It was a question he asked himself within the space that we created within our dialogue, where both of us reached for understanding of ourselves.

It was a conversation I found hard to put out into the world because it reveals things about me, actions and perhaps attitudes, that might change people's opinion of me. I take ownership for my actions. But not believing you should be judged is not the same as being unafraid of judgement. And I have guilt and shame aplenty that will always help stoke the fires of fear of judgement.

But I'm also aware of how privileged to have had this conversation. Not everyone has this kind of opportunity, not everyone has a relationship with their father that is open in this way, on a personal level I am so glad to have had it, even if I'm afraid to share it.

I am also struck by the uniqueness of a conversation between a 30 year old man and his 88 year old father about sexuality where they tell each other things for the first time. If feels an important thing to share.

And they all knew me as a teenager too.

With my mum sharing the personal revelations that come up scare me less. I'm less afraid of judgement but I still feel very exposed by offering this conversation up into the world. It was an incredibly important moment in my life where I had a real leap forward in the way I view my relationship with my mother, my sense of self and my understanding of her reality. There are lots of subtexts that flow through the conversation which I'm not sure will all be felt with people with less context, but I feel like many of them will be.

Again ideas of who is guilty came up, although it introduced to the conversation more intentionally this time. There is a moment very like the moment in my dads conversation where my mum wonders whether she can legitimately apologise for behavior that she can't promise not to repeat.

I am very vulnerable in this conversation. I found it quite hard to listen to myself when editing it because of all the complex emotions that were bleeding out of me. There is a moment where I can't formulate my words because I am too busy processing my emotions. And yet the conversation wasn't confrontational, and if not everything was directly addressed, everything was at least indirectly addressed.

I've been holding back these conversations for quite a while, they have been mentioned a lot in the episodes previous episodes, and many of the events and anecdotes covered have been told by other people in other episodes. For the GBA completists many strands get tied together in these four episodes and in some ways the conversations with my parents show the farthest limits of openness and dialogue that this show has allowed me to reach.

This episode contained a story about my Gran and was followed up with a special episode that documented my personal response to the conversation I had with my mother and gives context to the life changing weekend that surrounded it. This was another strange thing to share with the word, my blathering into a microphone at the back of a bus, and believe me I edited out a hell of a lot of nonsense, but it has shaped up into something I feel is worth sharing. It captured the truth of that day and capturing truth (even while knowing that truth always changes) is what I'm generally interested in trying to do.

My parents conversations are book-ended by two other different but also very personal conversations.

The season began with a conversation with my dads first wife, Sheila. This and the follow up GBA Extra, where my older sister as a little girl spoke with her grandmother, are conversations with dead people. The voices remain but the bodies that spoke the words have passed away. My older sisters asked for this conversation in its then raw unedited form to listen to in the immediate aftermath of their mother's passing and it helped them come up with ideas for her funeral. Being able to give them this resource was an amazing thing which I am so glad I could do.

When I was editing it I felt the weight of it. It was strange to be editing someone who was dead but who I had known. Our conversation completely avoided mentioning my father and so didn't end up in the kind of areas that the other conversations in this season end up. But in a way by not being about any of that drama it allowed me to see sides of Sheila I'd never seen before. I'd only ever really known her as an old person and by talking about her years as a child and teenager I got better acquainted with her in a way that  I'd never had the opportunity to do before.

The season ends with next wednesday's episode which I just finished editing this morning. It's a conversation with a family friend called Sue, who remained friends with my dad and both of his wives. She never chose sides. In fact all four people this season focuses on once shared a house. Sue and my mum were the lodgers and my dad and Sheila the landlords. That household ended when my dad left Sheila for my mum.

Sue is a wonder to me because she is both wise and kind. Her ability not to judge people at the same time as observing them is something I admire and aspire to. I felt hers was the perfect episode to end the season. Not just because she links the other three together through bonds of friendship but because we talk about whether people can change, listening to others,  being honest and open, challenging and speaking up for what you believe in.  The conversation really pivots around friendship, community, responsibility, empathy and sharing knowledge. Those are the things that run through this family season.

They are also ideas which I feel sum up the Getting Better Acquainted podcast project as a whole.