Getting Better Acquainted with 2012

Because Getting Better Acquainted is in many ways about me, even though I release the episodes out of chronological order to highlight the differences (and similarities) of the guests, it still reflects the linear progression of my life.

And this has been a year when many new experiences and projects have infused my life. And each one has added new strands to the audio tapestry of the show, new chapters to this autobiography made through other people. Because of this I can't really sum up year two of making Getting Better Acquainted without summing up my year in general.

It began with tragedy.

Stand Up Tragedy to be precise. I put on 5 nights of what had, until very late in 2011, just been a vague idea rattling around in my mind. But when you have good ideas you have to try and make them happen. Well you don't have to. But I find it very hard to stop myself from trying to. Even when the ideas are inconvenient.

The format of Stand Up Tragedy worked well and I was really pleased with the final results, despite the process being quite disruptive to me personally. It worked so well that SUT is returning in 2013, including (I hope) a run at the Edinburgh Free Fringe in August. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The first few months 2012 were dark ones for me. I was in quite a deep depression. Part of this was probably because I was overwhelmed by the sudden busyness that running a monthly show, releasing a weekly podcast, lots of other projects and commitments and maintaining a day job, will throw into your life. I guess you could say I was stressed out. But I also think that a big part of it was the emotional journey I have been going through while making GBA.

Again this is an example of an idea having its own will independently of it's creator. I didn't expect when I started the process of making Getting Better Acquainted that it would lead to me learning a great deal about myself. I have literally been returning to the places from my past, re-visiting them, but I have also been dealing with relationships; my family, my lovers, my friends, often having conversations with them about themselves but also talking about them with my guests, comparing and contrasting lives and ideas. It has been a very positive force on my life and has led to many personal revelations. I feel I am learning so much about myself and about people in general through doing this show.

But therapy, even when done on oneself through a creative endeavour, isn't a simple process. Since I spent 2011 on a glorious high of self discovery and new clarities, I might have expected that I would crash. The first day of bleakness happened almost a year ago, on the day I wrote last years round up of the show, I had to force myself to type through a dark cloud which engulfed me almost completely for days afterwards, and which I wouldn't manage to fully clear my head of till much later in the year.

In a way though I think of this slump as just a bump on the road, growing pains resulting from all the emotional growth that's been occurring inside me. But it was also a very extreme version of the cycle between highs and lows that I am prone too. Which may be partly due to nature as it is something my mother also struggles with. But it is also partly nurture. In 2011 I recorded 3 conversations with my mum, the third one that hasn't gone out yet, was about this area of our lives. Whilst recording that episode I had a revelation about my relationship with my mum: That forgiving her and learning to like myself is the same process. But after the high of that had worn off I suddenly found myself able to see my childhood experiences very clearly. Dealing with the spectre of those times was a big part of the dip. But it was also the thing that helped pull me out of it, more than the 4 cognitive behavioural therapy sessions I finally managed to get much later in the year, after having "cried for help" to the doctor in late 2011. Not that those sessions weren't helpful. They were. But trying to form an understanding of my past has been even more helpful.

To do this I turned to the place I always do: making stuff. In the summer I began writing a play based around my understanding of that time. It is probably impossible to stage and it is certainly very hard to write. I actually think I may never get it to work as a piece of art. But writing it has been very helpful.

I also made an episode of GBA about it:



The Reactionaries, an alt pop duo that I am part of, recorded our first session for our second album Bouncy Poppy Songs About Death between Christmas and New Year 2011. Amazingly we have not finished the album yet, but it should be finished in 2013 (or so our producer assures us.) That said music we performed three tracks from it at the first Stand Up Tragedy on February 6th one of which is the Stand Up Tragedy Theme Tune. And we did get together another song called Talk to Your Parents which formed the backbone of the GBA Special To the Heart of It.

  

January was a blur of The Reactionaries rehearsals, a mad rush to promote and book acts for SUT and spending any free moments in a state of depression. With the first Stand Up Tragedy going well and the sensible decision I made to take the day after the show off things got easier going forward.

In February I was also making the first steps towards getting together A Room Full of Friends. This is a music project that I was intending to make into its own podcast. The concept is that the band plays in a room full of friends in a house. This has evolved into what will become a strand of GBA. We recorded a pilot episode as part of GBA's Residency at the Invisible Picture Palace in November and we will be releasing that (and other episodes) in 2013. It will be a monthly additional episode where we Get Better Acquainted with a Room Full of Friends and we will be performing in different rooms, with different friends and invited support acts.

On March 10th I went with some friends to see Chris Goode perform God/Head. This was a very resonant show for me. Afterwards I contacted Chris and we arranged to meet up to record this:



When contacting Chris I discovered that we had a mutual acquaintance in Karl James. And when I was programming the guests for the residency I invited them to return and do a conversation with me together. This will also come out in 2013.

Then on the 16th I went on GBA roadtrip to Oxford to record conversations with people I know who live in that city. The only one of those that has been released so far is this one:



On Monday 26th of March I recorded this conversation with Radcliffe Royds.



Radcliffe has played rather a large part in my life this year. I met him through Spark London which has also come to play a larger part in my life this year. I spent some time with him in Edinburgh and saw him doing his thing in Soho Square for the Soho Stories app, booked him twice for Stand Up Tragedy, and had a conversation with him as part of my residency. He is a man I am very glad to know and it has been a pleasure getting better acquainted with him.



At the end of March I took a trip up to North with my dad to visit family. While I was there I did a final edit and recorded new opening and closing monologue for To the Heart of It:



On April 16th I went to the Spark London Open Mic in Brixton and told this story:



In the last week of April I got in my submission to the Radio Production Awards which resulted in me being nominated for the Best Online Creator Award:



I also went to my first cognitive behavioural therapy session. This therapist promptly left the job though and it would be months before I managed to get set up with an alternative. I remember thinking it was ironic when I was travelling to that appointment that I had fully come out of my depressive state a few weeks before!

And the other thing I did that week was a GBA road trip to Tunbridge Wells to record this conversation:



Mike is another person who I invited back in November to be a part of my GBA Residency.

The first week of May was busy too!

I saw a screening of The Truth is Out There at Goldsmiths University.

I recorded a conversation with my musical hero Darren Hayman in the Rose and Crown Pub in Walthamstow:



And then the next day I recorded a conversation with Phil Leirness the director of The Truth is Out There and one of the hosts of thye Chillpak Hollywood Hour podcast. This was the first of this years conversations with other podcasters a strand I began in 2011 via skype link up to the I Like You podcast in Canada. But since Phil was in town we recorded it in his hotel near Victoria Station.



I began May by recording the most listened to GBA episode to date with Helen and Ollie from Answer Me This! Followed a few days later by the second most listened to episode to date with Martin (the soundman) from Answer Me This! Followed a few days after that by recording the conversation with Chris Goode.



June brought the final Stand Up Tragedy of the season and a less frantic schedule. A Room Full of Friends (at this point a duo) performed:



On the 7th of June I recorded a conversation with Sheila, my dads ex wife. Sheila sadly passed away this year. My older sisters listened to the unedited conversation we had and it helped them to plan the funeral. I am so glad to have been able to provide them with this resource.

On the 16th of June the first of the weddings of two different old friends of mine who both happen to be called Steve happened. Since it took place near Lancaster Jen and I decided to revisit the town where we lived for 5 years (and met). We recorded a GBA Special during this trip which will probably come out in 2013.





This article about Stand Up Tragedy (and other things) came out in June. Too late to inform audiences about the Leicester Square Theatre run of the show, but a great write up nonetheless.

In the last weekend of June I went to Bristol for my mum's birthday and combined it with recording conversation with Bristolian's of my acquaintance. This is the episode from that trip that has aired so far:



In July I didn't win the Radio Production Award but I was invited to join the Spark London Team full time, doing their social media and running the Hackey Attic Open Mic from September.

August brought the second Getting Better Acquainted Edinburgh Special as I went up to perform for Spark, record some conversations and see some shows. It was while I was at this trip that I decided that I would definitely bring Stand Up Tragedy back. The trip kicked of the Edinburgh season and there was a very fast turnaround for the episodes during that time as they were all with performers doing shows at the festival.

When I was in Edinburgh I was lucky to see some really amazing comedy, theatre and spoken word. I also managed to meet another of my heroes the comedian Eddie Peppitone whose bit was the original inspiration for my Stand Up Tragedy show. Eddie Peppitone is part of The Long Shot Podcast.



I also went away with my writing group on our second writing retreat, where I wrote a first draft of a new play and got even better acquainted with them. This is a conversation I recorded with them at our 2011 retreat:



On the 27th August I was featured in Helen and Olly's Required Listening BBC Radio 5 Live, talking about Getting Better Acquainted and Spark London.

On the 30th August I went to my first every In the Dark event, the Open Mini-Jack Night they ran were hosting in the glasshouse in front of the Wapping Project as part of their Invisible Picture Palace project.

I played them this:



In September it was back to Cardiff for the second Steve wedding of the year. Again I combined the trip with recording a second special about Cardiff and a bunch of conversations, like this one:



Then I returned to London to host the first of my monthly Spark London Open Mic at the Hackney Attic. It was really well attended and we got off to a cracking start. This is a story recorded on one of the Hackney nights:

The Milkman's Round - Eithne Nightingale by Spark London on Mixcloud

Then it was off on a GBA roadtrip to Wokingham. But this one had taken on a mind of its own and had turned into a reunion for a group of friends from University and a chance for us to all meet my friend Richard's new baby. I recorded a few conversations during that weekend which will come out next year. Richard is a frequent guest of GBA, the first of his episodes came out at the start of the year as part of the "3 Posh Boys" season.



In October I turned 31 and happened to record a podcast on the day I did it:



I also began work recording and writing for the Cbeebies Radio show Ministry of Stories. Surprisingly this meant I spent a lot of time for the next two months at the amazing children's writing centre Ministry of Stories. The show started being broadcast on the 17th December and I am really proud of it and so impressed at the hard work of Matt Hill who really brought his A Game to the project. It was a pleasure and a joy working with the staff and volunteers at the MiS.

I'd visited the Invisible Picture Palace a few times after that first one and got to know the people who run In the Dark. They liked my audio and this resulted in me practically living in that glasshouse throughout November!

First up I did this presentation about "In Conversation" podcasting:



The next night I recorded a conversation via Skype with Kevin Allison from the storytelling podcast Risk!



The next night I performed a true story about panic attacks and sleep paralysis at Tea Fuelled Flea Circus at the Hackney Attic. That story was inspired by making this GBA Extra:



Then from the 16th - 21st November I did the 5 night residency at the glasshouse. These episodes will be released daily in the week running up to the 100th Episode of GBA.

The 21st was also the last day of recording at the MiS and on that day I got to meet one of the voices of my childhood: Jenni Murray from Woman's Hour (and our show).

On the last weekend of November I went on a GBA road trip to Colchester, followed by the only wedding that I didn't record conversations at this year.

I finished off November with a GBA road trip to Swindon where I recorded conversations with my Aunt and Uncle that will come out in 2013. I was really glad that making the show gave me the excuse to go and stay with them separately from the rest of my family grouping. Both conversations were really special to me.

In November and December I have been assembling the team to take Stand Up Tragedy into 2013. It feels good to have a wider group of people to carry the inevitable stress that bringing the show back will cause.

I spent Christmas in Prague with my mum. And I am now back in the UK about to spend 3 days with my partner, Jen, doing nothing.

2012 may have began as a very hard time for me but it slowly transformed into one of the best years of my life. So many things have happened. I've met so many new and exciting people. Listeners have increased for GBA, some of whom have reached out and contacted me, forming new connections, sharing new thoughts and experiences. And I have had so many amazing times and opportunities. Everything feels like it has been coming together. I feel I have reached a new level of openness with myself, with my loved ones and in the art I am making.

@GBApodcast extract selection help!

Hello people who listen to Getting Better Acquainted,

I am submitting some extracts from 2011's episodes of GBA to something and I was wondering if any of you could recommend episodes or even bits of episodes that stood out to you?

Which episodes did you enjoy the most?

Was there anything people have said in episodes that have stood out or stuck with you?

Do you have favourite GBA moments and what are they if you do?

We are specifically talking about episodes that aired in 2011 which means anything in episode 1 - episode 36. Although feedback on other episodes is still welcomed :-)

I'd be so grateful for any suggestions. You can reply on this blog, tweet me, comment on facebook or email me at GBApodcast[at]gmail[dot]com with any suggestions, responses or thoughts.

Thanks for your time.

Dave

Comment on "In Defence of podcasts (even if they don't make money)"

This is a comment I made in the comment thread of this article:

In Defence of podcasts (even if they don't make money) by Kyle Ryan on the A.V. Club

So we’re talking here about comedy podcasts, pop culture podcasts, news podcasts, tech podcasts, educational podcasts, interview podcasts and music podcasts. This shows some of the range of what is out there.

Then you have 3 strands of content:

1. Podcasts made independently by people who are complete unknowns

2. Podcasts made independently by people who have an existing brand to draw audiences in

3. Podcasted versions of existing radio shows

In my view all of the above are great. Together they can form an on demand user created audio world. You get to choose your own radio station. And importantly you get to mix up “amateur” and “professional” content, both can, and should learn from each other, and both offer much to the listener. You have to seek out what you like which is actually one of the barriers not mentioned in this thread. Lots of people talk of not liking what is out there, but really they mean what they can find out there, since podcasts are not all long and not all anything. Sure it is an outlet for long form and free form audio. And I think audiences do desire long things and improvisational things. But that isn’t all that podcasting is.

One thing podcasting needs are filters. The tech stuff is getting better but people will still be overwhelmed by having to go through all the material on their own to find what works for them. Lots of people don’t want to have to search out shows they want them given to them by a reliable filter, such as a TV Channel. That is what is really great about the development of podcasting networks and of shows that review and recommend other podcasts, that stuff is important to mainstream audiences. And niche audiences too come to think of it.

In terms of the tech, app culture is helping to make podcasting more mainstream, now with apps like Stitcher Smart Radio there is less transferring and less hassle for you to programme your own stations. Smart phones are very mainstream and people have learned through them to download and use apps. They don’t consider that hard the way they do searching on iTunes. This means that it doesn’t matter that apple don’t really give a shit about the medium, we basically don’t (or won’t) need them anymore.

The genre that is missing from my list and from the discussion on this thread that will help take podcasting into the mainstream is drama. There are few great audio dramas or narrative serials out there, or at least none that I’ve managed to find yet, none with the same profile as the other genres. Most of podcasting has settled into conversations or documentaries. Even within comedy podcasting this is the case, although the sketch comedies do lead the way on this. Drama and serial narrative stories are genres that capture the public’s imagination. They also require more writing time, more performance development, more editing, and are generally a much harder beast to create to a high standard from an independent or DIY perspective. But they will come eventually I think.

Podcasting does offer new tones that you can’t find in other media. It is more intimate, more interactive, unmediated, due to how it is done and how it is consumed. That’s why free flowing conversation has become its strongest strand. This isn’t available in the same way anywhere, not even on talk radio where the pressures and structure is very different. Two people in a room is very different from two people in front of mics in a studio.

The potential DIY element of podcasting is something that feels fresh and new. It can take us into personal spaces, from the dressing rooms of the famous to the bedrooms of the unfamous, and to so many places in between, catching people in moments that are a world away from what you capture on TV or on most radio. The microphone can go anywhere and because podcasts can be fully independent often there is no one telling the podcaster where to take it and how to do it. They figure out their own rules on their own and so hit on different solutions to the ones we’re used to.

I make a podcast that tries to explore these elements of the form. It’s a series of conversations with people I know, from my closest friends and family, to someone I met once at a party. It’s tagline is “There are lots of shows about famous people this show is about the rest of us.”

You can find it at http://www.gettingbetteracquainted.co.uk

Or search for it on iTunes or Stitcher under its name Getting Better Acquainted.

It’s one of a few independent audio shows that I work on. None of them make any money. I have a day job. They all cost lots of time and quite a bit of money to produce. But I love the form. I love the freedom. I love connecting directly with audiences. Which isn’t to say I wouldn’t be able to do all of them more and better if I could figure out the monetization problem. But I’m happy to keep pondering that problem as I work on making great audio.

Getting rid of the barriers between creator and audience is a wonderful thing and something that both creators and audiences want. Not all the time sure. We still want lots of mystery out there too. But in a world where so much is mediated, where so much is impersonal, where we feel fragmented, having this direct link, cutting out all the middle people, is a powerful and exciting thing. And that is what podcasting has to offer.

#DV8 Review 2: The personal is the political

So the other day I recorded a conversation for Getting Better Acquainted with Sanne who's currently studying physical theatre and has a background in dance and performance. She talked about what she wants to get from seeing theatre which broke down as: magic. She wants to sit in an audience and watch wonder happen on stage. Something unquantifiable, something indescribable. And broadly speaking I'd say that's what I want too. It's certainly something that you can only get in a live moment. It's something that theatre and dance can offer that other mediums can't. Not in the same way.

When I studied theatre at university dance was the stuff that really spoke to me. Having gone there as a playwright I discovered my course wasn't really about texts. It was about a different kind of theatre. A kind I wasn't familiar with. As I became familiar with it I found it to be limited in many ways. But the stuff that did excite me, that surpassed the limitations, tended to be dance and physical theatre. It broke through all the theory and pretension and hit you in the face with visceral performance that provoked emotional responses. It was the stuff that gave me the magic.

DV8 in many ways represents this magic to me. Whilst I didn't see them live the films of their performances are some of the few times I've seen the amazingness that physical bodies in space can be captured on film.

Sanne also spoke about trying to make theatre that conveys a political message. She hasn't seen work that contains both politics and the magic. She hasn't come out a piece of political theatre saying "Wow!" She may have said "that was worthy" or "that was interesting" but never "that was a transformative experience."

She's still trying to find a way to knit these two things together in her own work. I told her that I think she's in the right area. I've found physical theatre to be the least preachy and most challenging political theatre I've seen. In it's physicality it has the power to disturb and challenge the viewer much more than something with words can.

I spoke of the ways that gender roles and sexuality is explored and challenged by DV8's Enter Achilles and Dead Dreams of Monochrome Men. And told her that I was excited to be going to see their new show Can We Talk About This?

I knew this new show was going to tackle issues around radical Islam, terrorism, censorship and the liberal fear of challenging religion. I went to the show expecting to see these themes explored with emotional physicality and powerful ambiguity by amazing dancers.

I did see amazing dancers, occasionally there were hints of amazing dance, but mostly what I experienced was a well crafted political essay spoken in a verbatim style by dancers. The movement was actually very uninteresting compared to what you might hope for, it didn't even seem that connected to the words. And the words dominated the whole experience. There was hardly a moment in the hour and 20 minute show that wasn't filled with words. The words weren't connected to characters particularly, although they came from real people, and they were delivered in a dispassionate style. This was a theatre in a Brechtian style, but missing the humour and style. And with far too much reliance on words.

What was sadly absent from the piece was the humanity of the people being quoted and of the issues and themes being played out. This was a slanted history essay. Dry. Biased.

The biggest strength of dance, of the human body in space, is the way it can explore what it is to be human. That's why it has political power. That's why I had high hopes for this piece. Enter Achilles and Dead Dreams of Monochrome Men both challenge the audience with the physicality of the performers. They also have characters and they have plot.

Can We Talk About This? takes the humans out of the equation. It doesn't explore why people feel the things they feel. It didn't challenge with anything that wasn't words. It basically had all the flaws Sanne had picked out as being present in political theatre. It had no magic. It was just preaching a point of view.

For the most part it took the personal out of the political. And we can see that sort of politics anywhere. What it could have done was put the personal into it. Explore more. Engage more. Give us a human experience rather than a cold polemic.

It didn't talk, it lectured. If we are to
talk about this then we have to listen. We have to challenge. We have to explore. And we have to remember we are all humans. That's the hardest thing to do.

Recently in a conversation about the recent Thatcher film I said "I'm annoyed that it will humanise her so much." The person I was talking to said "But she is human."

Werner Hertzog was accused of "trying to humanise" criminals on death row whilst he was making his recent documentary. He replied, "They are already human."

That's one of the things we always talk about. That we have to talk about. Sure, we should criticise bias. We shouldn't be afraid to challenge any idea, any belief, any action. But we should also explore why it is said. Consider the human who says it. Consider the human who murders as well as the human who is murdered. That's what we don't talk about. That's what this show could have talked about.

By not doing so it was as biased, scared and one-sided as the people it was attacking.

It could have been an open conversation. How else can we hope to understand difference and bias?

This talk by Karl James discusses many of the issues I go over in this blog and many of the issues DV8 was preaching at me the other night.

I'd like to end this review by suggesting you check it out. I wish I could recommend DV8's show but I can't. Their back catalogue however is amazing. Check that out if you can.

On length and access:

An hour long show isn't too long. Not if it's good. Many shows we listen to or watch are around an hour in length. But getting people to listen to an hour show is hard. We are always reluctant to give our time to something unknown. I understand that. I'm the same. But the issue isn't the time. The issue is the unknown.

And also the effort. If you aren't someone who listens to podcasts already it seems like it will take great efforts to do so. It is a new thing to consider, a new system or process to learn. And there are lots of different media that you already know your way around. That you've already integrated into your life.

But just because you love those flavours doesn't mean you won't love a new one. And they aren't as hard to taste (or rather to access and integrate) as you think.

Getting Better Acquainted is worth listening to. It's a flavour worth tasting. It isn't the only longform podcast worth sampling but it's not a bad one to start with. I recommend other longform conversation based podcasts via the GBA twitter stream as well as posting about the show.

This are the ways you can get Getting Better Acquainted:

You can stream it straight on your computer or mobile. You can do this by clicking play on soundcloud or on Facebook. You can download an mp3 of an episode directly by clicking on download if you want to listen to it later or on a different device.

You can subscribe to it on iTunes. Which means (in theory) that iTunes will keep an eye out and download the episodes when they come out. If you have an iPhone it will download them straight to your pocket. You can also transfer the mp3's to other mp3 players with a tiny bit more hassle. iTunes is unreliable but it is comprehensive and relatively hassle free if you are an iTunes user.

The best way I have found of consuming podcasts is through The Stitcher Smart Radio App. It's FREE. You download it onto your smartphone and then tell it which podcasts you want to stream. And it's done. Many radio shows are available as podcasts so with stitcher you can create your own streaming radio station to carry around in your pocket, made from both established radio programmes that are released on BBC or NPR and independent podcasts. The downside is that some podcasts and radio shows aren't on Stitcher yet. The upside is that a lot of them are. And significantly GBA certainly is.

There are many other ways you can get GBA but they are all much more complicated than the ones listed above. If any of them are the best way for you to consume podcasts then you'll already know how to do it.

Crowd Sourced

So last night I was talking to my lovely American friend Liz about my crowdfunding campaign.

I'm running an IndieGoGo campaign to raise enough money to pay the performers doing tragedy at Stand Up Tragedy And also, if the target is reached, to fund some Getting Better Acquainted road trips.

The target is $3,500 dollars. This is a pretty small target compared to most of the campaigns you'll find on IndieGoG. I've reached $540 of the target do far. There are 12 days left till the deadline.

I'm doubtful I will hit it. It is still possible though. And whether the target is hit or not the money is very appreciated and will be put to good use. If you are reading this before March 1st then please contribute what you can.

So the reasons I think it isn't working well are:

1. UK culture is different from US culture. We aren't naturally predisposed to crowdfunding. It seems a bit unseemly. Talking about money. And asking for help and support. Aren't these things best fine through "proper" channels?

2. Many of my friends are not very tech savvy and spend little time online. They have also had a lot of practice at ignoring my communications because I communicate so much. Possibly too much. Many of them won't even know about the campaign, despite the emails and the social network promotion. Friends are the first and most important rung of the crowdfunding ladder and mine generally don't even know what a podcast is and check their emails very rarely (or at least respond to them rarely.)

3. People may think that since Stand Up Tragedy Tickets are £10 on the door that they have already given more than enough to the cause if they have attended or they are going to attend the live show. A point if view I do understand. They may even think, if they don't know me that well, that it is a bit of a con. It isn't. I don't set the ticket prices and I would never ask for money if I didn't need it. SUT may break even. It won't make a profit.

4. We are in the middle of tough finacial times. People are being cautious. Everyone is worse off than they were. Even if they were predisposed to funding independent arts (and many people aren't) they may feel this an inappropriate time to do so. People see art as less important in austerity.

All of the above may well be true but there is a 5th reason: my lack of ability to do the job of fundraising. I may feel like I am being brash and in people's faces with this campaign. But am I?

After talking to Liz I realise that I'm milder than most fundraisers. And sadly for my campaign that's the way it'll remain.

Here are some of the techniques Liz, who has years of fundraising experience and is more culturally in tune with both crowdfunding and podcast culture, suggested:

Sending targeted emails to key people. A key person is someone who has lots of social contacts and a history of contributing to things like this. I could only think if two potential key people. And one of them was taking to me. They are both American. But then she explained that it was all about the people those people might know. And then I could think of a few more. Not that I would feel comfortable directly approaching anyone about this. I don't like the idea of hassling individuals at all. I won't be contacting key people. But it's good to know how people do it.

She then said it was about making the communications clear and simple. Something that I have tried to do but since I often fail in my aims of clarity and brevity I've probably failed to achieve. She said I should make a template email and send that to my key people. Then they just have to fill it in and send it on to their contacts. The idea of this makes me feel a bit queasy. This sort of hard sell doesn't really fit with me. I prefer to respect peoples free will.

When I discussed the problem of my people not being online much she asked if my friends texted. My girlfriend who was also with us balked at this idea. I was more aware of it. I get texts from people telling me about their gigs quite often. It doesn't work on me but it doesn't piss me off. I've occasionally texted close friends about gigs myself. But the idea of texting people to ask them to fund my shows just doesn't work for me. Too intrusive. Too pressurised. I don't want people to feel obliged.

Later I mentioned that when payday comes I'll be contributing to the campaign Liz rolled her eyes and said I'd already paid with my time and effort. I said "Well actually I've already paid over 300 on publicity out of my own pockets, which I may or may not make back! But I can't ask people to give what they can and not give what I can myself."

And this is my biggest problem. I don't like or relate to money. I can't take it seriously. I can't hold it fully in my mind. I'm politically against it. I take it personally too because it's not about raising the money but about what the money can do. So friends aren't deciding not to give me money. They are deciding not to help a friend out. Which is the wrong way to look at it. And I struggle not to see it that way.

But me and my projects exist in the real world. And money is necessary.

If I was a different person I'd send a well written and calculated begging letter to all the richest people I know. I shouldn't care about hassling them. I believe in the redistribution of wealth but I don't want to ask for it.

I'd locate my key people and send them templates, try and get them to hassle their friends using my words.

I would text everyone I know and tell them about the campaign.

But I'm not that person. Which I'm a little bit glad of. And a little bit sad about. But there we have it.

The campaign offers perks. It isn't a begging thing. It's a chance for people to directly fund the arts. To cut out the gatekeepers and go directly from audience to artist. That's why it appealed to me. But it's still ultimately about money. And for many people money is too valuable to part with, even in small amounts, and for others, such as myself, money and art have no real relation to each other. It is hard to connect them up. Apart from of course they do relate very strongly because in this world money controls and influences and restricts and allows everything. And occasionally someone, rarely the artist, will make a lot of money from some art.

As @amandapalmer says "We are the media"

You may know that I'm running a crowdfunding drive for http://www.standuptragedy.co.uk and http://www.gettingbetteracquainted.co.uk.

You also may know that I'm a loyal promoter and funder of interesting independent art. I have limited means but I give what I can.

If I've ever funded or promoted a project that you do I'd really appreciate some reciprocation.

This is my campaign:



Your contribution would help pay performers and fund interesting audio. Even dollar would be much appreciated. For $10 (£6.50ish) you start getting "perks".

Even if you can't afford to give anything sharing and promoting this campaign to friends with more disposable income would really help too. Compared to most other crowdfunding drives I'm asking for a very small amount but it'd make a world of difference. It's only by supporting each other independently that we can get the art and media we deserve.

Things I've Learned from the first year of doing @GBApodcast

The following things are things I've learned, achieved and considered in my first year of making Getting Better Acquainted. Many of the things I've learnt have come from conversations that haven't come out yet but will be aired in 2012.

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Perspective

Having spoken to so many people about themselves, and tried to empathise and find common ground, I've been reminded that we are both similar to each other and very very different. Everyone is weird because everyone is not you, and you are weird to everyone else.

All three conversations with my mother (but especially the third) yielded both the revelation that if I am to forgive myself my flaws then I have to forgive my mother and her mother their flaws. For they are the same flaws. All of spring from the same river and it flows down.

The weekend I recorded those conversations was a highly emotional one where I also held a new born child in my arms, interviewed some old and dear friends and spent time with my 6 year old niece.

From that weekend came my new attempt to sum it all up:

"We're all just people trying to get through life in whatever way we can."

GBA 24 Mum #1 by Getting Better Acquainted

To look out for: Mum #2, Mum #3 and the GBA special devoted to this revelation.

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Meditation / Yoga

I've talked to people about these practices and I've come to the conclusion its time to get rid of both my sneer at, and fear of, meditation and yoga. My fear of silence probably needs to be conquered. These practices may help me find more peace in myself and give me perspective on all the chatter and clutter. I find that I crave a great stillness. But how do I find a way to fit it into my time? That's something I've yet to learn. Hopefully 2012 will offer up the answer.

Whatever my problems with fitting these new and possibly beneficial projects into my life, one thing I scribbled down after a GBA conversation was:

"I have the resolve and drive to get my shit done so I need to just do it. But also relax about it. Give myself space to breathe."

And I have done that. I'm less harsh on myself than I was. And I'm getting things done. Possibly more. But I take time out for myself and I'm enjoying the process more. I'm less desperate to race to the end.

GBA 23 Jessica by Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 27 Joss by Getting Better Acquainted

Look out for: Lily

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Learning in the edit

Some conversations have been a revelation repeated. And sometimes I didn't notice what I learnt the first time properly!

Listening back to my conversation with Louise I realised I'd been on the path to the above mentioned revolution earlier than I'd thought and her wisdom in that conversation and the things I said in response informed and strengthened it.

GBA 19 Louise by Getting Better Acquainted

Listening back to the conversation with my brother Tony I realised that it would be interesting to people who didn't know us. That it was in the words of Jen a conversation full of "startling honesty". At the time i'd been disappointed with it. In the edit I realised that it had been a really great conversation and one that I should reconsider and remember. One of many times this year I've learnt things on mic.

GBA 35 Tony by Getting Better Acquainted

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Friendship and Family

I didn't expect the conversations to be so personal. I should have expected it but sometimes you don't think about the most obvious things. You don't fully consider them.

So many conversations were journeys into shared history. And often at the heart of that history is shared love. So I've had a chance to examine the bonds of closeness I have with people.

GBA 22 Zoe by Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 16 Owain by Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 11 Clive by Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 4 Liz by Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 6 George by Getting Better Acquainted

To look out for: Jess, Richard, Alex, Jack and George, Jen

I've also realised I was closer to more people than I thought and gave felt friendships deepen on mic.

GBA 31 Ged by Getting Better Acquainted

GBA 2 Elspeth by Getting Better Acquainted

And i've reconnected with old friends and places and revelations have come from that. Not just revelations but wedding invitations and day trips.

GBA 26 Angela by Getting Better Acquainted


GBA 17 Cardiff by Getting Better Acquainted

Look out for: Steve and The Coventry Special

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Themes

The show has been organic in how it's come together. But looking back some themes seem very prominent to me.

Some have come from its structure:

• Family
• Friendship
• Occupation
• Conversation
• Memories

Others have come from my own preoccupations:

• Art
• Class
• Politics
• Getting through life
• Nature verses nurture

And some have surprised me:

• Faith
• Death
• Honesty
• Coming of age
• Spirituality
• Purpose
• 
  

Even the word plug and the process of asking people if they have anything to plug has been a surprisingly provocative thing. As demonstrated by Eric:

GBA 33 Eric by Getting Better Acquainted

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Deleted

I accidentally deleted GBA 1 which is why it now appears out of sequence. In the aftermath of that mistake I discovered that Soundcloud offers the ability to create a spotlight tab which I'm now using to house a set of episodes designed to introduce the new GBA listener to the show.

Soundcloud also allow you to create sets which has allowed me to start grouping connected episodes together. So the show has its actual order, that is designed with variety and range in mind. But now you can also follow strands of the show. I see GBA as a tapestry anyway but now it is easier to unpick.

Musicians by Getting Better Acquainted

Theatre by Getting Better Acquainted

These separated strands also bring out the element of the show that is an audio autobiography told through the connections I have made with others.

Family by Getting Better Acquainted

University Friends by Getting Better Acquainted

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Tripping

I've been on four GBA road trips this year and this is an element I hope to expand in 2012. The other two (Coventry and Bristol) will be coming out next year.

GBA 15 Edinburgh Festival by Getting Better Acquainted

Three of these four trips were journeys into my past literally, although the fourth one was even more related to my past in both less and more direct ways. You could say all of them were about facing and coming to terms with myself. Or my-selves, who I am now and who I was then.

I've also been travelled to other peoples homes and other locations to record people from The National Theatre to Hemel Hempstead.

Or for example to a borrowed flat in Stoke Newington:
GBA 13 Richard Tyrone Jones by Getting Better Acquainted

Sometimes others have travelled to me for conversations. Like Eric

who came for night and stayed for a weekend:

GBA 34 Eric and Dad by Getting Better Acquainted

I've snatched conversations in places that I was travelling like this one with Matt that was recorded at a friends wedding.

GBA 29 Matt by Getting Better Acquainted

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Feeling blessed

The word blessed isn't one I'd normally use, maybe I've been influenced by all the conversations I've had. But regardless blessed is the only word I can find to describe how I feel about many of the conversations that I've had. This one for example:

GBA 18 Sam by Getting Better Acquainted

To look out for: Dad 3, Sonia, Natti

The conversations have had big effects on me. It was nice to find that they had big effects on others. For example Hayley on listening to Elspeth's GBA was inspired to embrace her faith more. She was also inspired to write a song called "Leave the body" a song being recorded for The Reactionaries new album. We'll be performing the song at the Stand Up Tragedy launch date on the 6th of February 2012.

GBA 9 Hayley by Getting Better Acquainted

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Off Mic

So often the conversations and socialising that happened off mic but nevertheless happened as a result of meeting with people to record the show have been even more illuminating than what you hear. I'm often catching myself thinking "Doh! Why aren't I recording this?" Although I'm trying to cut down in that and remember one of the rules I try and record by: "You get what you get and you don't get upset."

____________________________________________________________________________

Self Perception

This year I've really heard myself. At my worst and my best. There is nothing like recording yourself for 4 days talking to your school friends to make you hear a facet of yourself properly. The year began with plenty of that as I worked on what I consider the failed project 4 Days in a Room.

In fact 4DiaR was a big influence on GBA. I learned what works and what doesn't. And I wanted people to hear the other me's. The people I was or could be with my other friends and in different rooms.

So I've heard my voice a lot. On GBA I hear my voice on monitor headphones during the conversations. And later I hear it again in the edit.

I'm very aware of how it sounds, it's tone, the vocal ticks I have. I still find hearing myself hard. I'll think I've become used to it and then I'll find another conversation where I do things I wish I hadn't.

But i'm more philosophical about it now. I've also heard and edited a lot of other peoples vocal ticks. I know my voice doesn't annoy other people as much as it does me. And that the balance sheet has a lot of good moments on it; for every time I talk over someone when they were about to say something amazing, is a time when I listen well, or ask the perfect question. It evens out.

I also think I now hear my own voice in everyday life closer to how it sounds in reality. This is probably a good thing, although I'm not sure in what way it is good yet.

I've been creating things for years but this has been the first project people have sent me emails telling me they like it. Often people I don't well at all. And even occasionally strangers.

It really made my day when Helen Zaltzman from Answer Me This tweeted the show saying:

And we've also had twitter support and respect from Risk and I Like You. The show has a consistent international listenership and was recommended by SoundCloud.

And I've had some really great iTunes reviews and soundcloud comments this year.

All of this plus the mind expanding journey this project had been for me has helped me to see my own strengths as well as my weaknesses.

It has been a surprise to realise that my work has been leading in this direction for years. In fact it was an off mic conversation with my friend Richard (whose episodes will air in the new year) where I first realised this.

It has also been strange to realise that I am the product here. That this form is such a personal one and that on my search to explore truth I have come to this point where there is no filter between myself and the audience. Or at least only the small but crucial filters of the edit and the context.

There is no author or rock star pose, there is just me. My life. The people I know. Our stories.

In many ways this has been very liberating.

The change in my understanding that this project had been us a big part of what has led me to "book the room". This phrase comes from The Dialogue Project's Karl James whose GBA will air in three weeks. The meeting we had only happened because of GBA. And that goes for many other meetings I've had this year.

(I didn't meet with Karl till just after I'd booked the room.)

The room is The Lounge at The Leicester Square Theatre. The show is Stand Up Tragedy.

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The Form

I've thought a lot this year, both on and off mic, about the form of GBA. What things it offers that other shows don't. The kind of marvellous medicine that it's ingredients make.

The show is long form and takes the audience on a journey. In fact considering the nature of what the show is and how it relates to what I do (music, writing, performance) has led me to the conclusion that what I'm interested in doing is taking audiences on journeys. I am a jouneyman and not a jack of all trades.

The moments when life intrudes into the conversations seems to me to be the crux of what it's about. When a dog interrupts or a car revs it's engine it exposes the mechanics of the show. But unlike in most forms, where exposing the mechanics makes the show feel less real, in snatched conversations it makes them more real.

The conversations happen in places TV and radio don't go to. In the guests homes, on river banks, in din filled back gardens, walking round the streets of Brixton, Edinburgh and Cardiff. In crowded pubs. In silent front rooms. In sunny back gardens filled with birdsong. And they are captured moments. Spontaneous.

But a microphone is present and that both changes and frames the moment.

The phrase I've settled on that described it is: Heightened realism

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Turning 30

I began GBA in my 30th year. I always thought I'd hate thirty. Ridiculously I've been depressed by getting and being older since I turned 22. But I actually like being thirty.

Partly because in meeting up with people I went to school with like and seeing how far they've come I've realised how far I've come. "We've left school behind" as an old friend who wishes to remain off mic put it.

Also kicked off by GBA has been a reanalysis of my past. This has been partially lived out on mic. It is important to try and forgive your past, embrace it as part of yourself, and I am both pleased and surprised to find myself doing both.

Getting older is ok. Being young was rubbish. I know myself so much better now.

One of the things I know is that I don't know anything very much. But one thing I do know is that I am very glad to have found Getting Better Acquainted. It seems to fit. I am very proud of it.

@WTFpod with @marcmaron : A full on recommendation:

If you don't already listen to WTF with Marc Maron then can I really strongly suggest you start. The latest with Michael Ian Black is a great conversation between two very similar and very different people who share a respect and distrust for each other. Plenty of tension but also some revelation.

But there are so many other amazing conversations. They really get into what being an artist in the modern world really entails, the contradiction and humanity that lies below the face of" Holywood" or "Show Business" and the experiences and instincts that can drive people to dark places but also inspire them to try and share their experience.

Marc Maron talks to people you'll have heard of and people who you don't know at all. Often the people you'd never heard of turn out to have some of the most amazing conversations the show offers.

Here's some people he's had on the show: Stewert Lee, Sandra Bernhard, Zach Galifianakis, Chris Rock, Robin Williams, Tig Notaro, John Hamm, Bryan Cranzton, Ira Glass, Janeane Garofalo, Anthony Bourdain, Doug Stanhope, Louis CK, Jud Apatow, Gary Shandling, Aubry Plaza blah blah blah...

But the show isn't so good because it has famous people on it. It's good because people really talk. And they try and understand each other and they try and work out life and art and all that shit. It has an intimacy to it generally recorded in Mark's garage, and the conversations are between people who often know each other personally and have some history together, or at least who work towards the same sorts of goals and desires.

It's such a great show. And in many ways is both the model and inspiration for Getting Better Acquainted. If you find initially that the intro monologues are a bit too full on give it time, they aren't too long and then the conversations begin, and as you learn to know Mark in an intimate way you are able to "get" him and the intros stop being abrasive and start being moving, funny, annoying (in a satisfying way) and sometimes incredibly profound.

I love this show.

October and ONWARDS

Hello!

Podcast news:

Getting Better Acquainted has been getting fantastic responses. People I hardly speak to emailing me out of the blue telling me they're enjoying it. So glad it's working for people. It's certainly changed my life. And it's only just begun, so many great conversations are stored on my hard drives and will be released weekly for at least a year!

The series has a main feed where you can stream or download the episodes: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/tracks

You can also subscribe and download it via iTunes: http://bit.ly/GBA-iTunes

But when I was reorganising the files to create the direct download option I had a revelation. Another interesting way to listen to the series might be to listen to the separate strands rather than the tapestry:

Family
University Friends
Writing Group
The Cardiff Episodes
Conversations with Musicians
The Fringe Festival Season
Apples for Everyone
GBA Specials

These playlists will grow as the series goes on. New lists will be added.

***

The podcast experiment Four Days in a Room is over. The last episode aired last monday. We have gathered the best episodes together in a downloadable/streamable playlist: www.fourdaysinaroom.co.uk

These are the 18 best episodes from the series. And they are all that now remains of the project.

***

From now till mid November I'm producing the true story podcast Spark London on behalf of rethinkdaily. Subscribe to it on iTunes or stream in on Mixcloud


Music news:

The Plural have made written, performed and recorded 1 song each month this year:

There will be three more. Each song is done in a day. This months song was done is 4 hours: http://snd.sc/ns7gCR

***

The Reactionaries are beggining their second album. It is going to be great. Our first album is here: http://snd.sc/nxzXAn

***

My new band is still looking for percussion but we are very close to existing. It will be a monthly web series released as a podcast and as YouTube videos. If you know anyone interested in doing percussion for it or getting involved with filming it or designing its website please pass on my details to them. Maybe you're that person in which case drop me a line.


Other news:

Some other things are brewing, both in terms of writing and performing, but they are still in progress so I'm keeping them hush hush.

I did recently experience Hackney Hear and it was AMAZING. I strongly suggest you do your best to experience it too. Follow it on facebook and twitter for all the latest HH details.



Thanks for your time.

Please let me know if you want off this email list!

Dave