Getting Better Acquainted with 2012

Because Getting Better Acquainted is in many ways about me, even though I release the episodes out of chronological order to highlight the differences (and similarities) of the guests, it still reflects the linear progression of my life.

And this has been a year when many new experiences and projects have infused my life. And each one has added new strands to the audio tapestry of the show, new chapters to this autobiography made through other people. Because of this I can't really sum up year two of making Getting Better Acquainted without summing up my year in general.

It began with tragedy.

Stand Up Tragedy to be precise. I put on 5 nights of what had, until very late in 2011, just been a vague idea rattling around in my mind. But when you have good ideas you have to try and make them happen. Well you don't have to. But I find it very hard to stop myself from trying to. Even when the ideas are inconvenient.

The format of Stand Up Tragedy worked well and I was really pleased with the final results, despite the process being quite disruptive to me personally. It worked so well that SUT is returning in 2013, including (I hope) a run at the Edinburgh Free Fringe in August. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The first few months 2012 were dark ones for me. I was in quite a deep depression. Part of this was probably because I was overwhelmed by the sudden busyness that running a monthly show, releasing a weekly podcast, lots of other projects and commitments and maintaining a day job, will throw into your life. I guess you could say I was stressed out. But I also think that a big part of it was the emotional journey I have been going through while making GBA.

Again this is an example of an idea having its own will independently of it's creator. I didn't expect when I started the process of making Getting Better Acquainted that it would lead to me learning a great deal about myself. I have literally been returning to the places from my past, re-visiting them, but I have also been dealing with relationships; my family, my lovers, my friends, often having conversations with them about themselves but also talking about them with my guests, comparing and contrasting lives and ideas. It has been a very positive force on my life and has led to many personal revelations. I feel I am learning so much about myself and about people in general through doing this show.

But therapy, even when done on oneself through a creative endeavour, isn't a simple process. Since I spent 2011 on a glorious high of self discovery and new clarities, I might have expected that I would crash. The first day of bleakness happened almost a year ago, on the day I wrote last years round up of the show, I had to force myself to type through a dark cloud which engulfed me almost completely for days afterwards, and which I wouldn't manage to fully clear my head of till much later in the year.

In a way though I think of this slump as just a bump on the road, growing pains resulting from all the emotional growth that's been occurring inside me. But it was also a very extreme version of the cycle between highs and lows that I am prone too. Which may be partly due to nature as it is something my mother also struggles with. But it is also partly nurture. In 2011 I recorded 3 conversations with my mum, the third one that hasn't gone out yet, was about this area of our lives. Whilst recording that episode I had a revelation about my relationship with my mum: That forgiving her and learning to like myself is the same process. But after the high of that had worn off I suddenly found myself able to see my childhood experiences very clearly. Dealing with the spectre of those times was a big part of the dip. But it was also the thing that helped pull me out of it, more than the 4 cognitive behavioural therapy sessions I finally managed to get much later in the year, after having "cried for help" to the doctor in late 2011. Not that those sessions weren't helpful. They were. But trying to form an understanding of my past has been even more helpful.

To do this I turned to the place I always do: making stuff. In the summer I began writing a play based around my understanding of that time. It is probably impossible to stage and it is certainly very hard to write. I actually think I may never get it to work as a piece of art. But writing it has been very helpful.

I also made an episode of GBA about it:



The Reactionaries, an alt pop duo that I am part of, recorded our first session for our second album Bouncy Poppy Songs About Death between Christmas and New Year 2011. Amazingly we have not finished the album yet, but it should be finished in 2013 (or so our producer assures us.) That said music we performed three tracks from it at the first Stand Up Tragedy on February 6th one of which is the Stand Up Tragedy Theme Tune. And we did get together another song called Talk to Your Parents which formed the backbone of the GBA Special To the Heart of It.

  

January was a blur of The Reactionaries rehearsals, a mad rush to promote and book acts for SUT and spending any free moments in a state of depression. With the first Stand Up Tragedy going well and the sensible decision I made to take the day after the show off things got easier going forward.

In February I was also making the first steps towards getting together A Room Full of Friends. This is a music project that I was intending to make into its own podcast. The concept is that the band plays in a room full of friends in a house. This has evolved into what will become a strand of GBA. We recorded a pilot episode as part of GBA's Residency at the Invisible Picture Palace in November and we will be releasing that (and other episodes) in 2013. It will be a monthly additional episode where we Get Better Acquainted with a Room Full of Friends and we will be performing in different rooms, with different friends and invited support acts.

On March 10th I went with some friends to see Chris Goode perform God/Head. This was a very resonant show for me. Afterwards I contacted Chris and we arranged to meet up to record this:



When contacting Chris I discovered that we had a mutual acquaintance in Karl James. And when I was programming the guests for the residency I invited them to return and do a conversation with me together. This will also come out in 2013.

Then on the 16th I went on GBA roadtrip to Oxford to record conversations with people I know who live in that city. The only one of those that has been released so far is this one:



On Monday 26th of March I recorded this conversation with Radcliffe Royds.



Radcliffe has played rather a large part in my life this year. I met him through Spark London which has also come to play a larger part in my life this year. I spent some time with him in Edinburgh and saw him doing his thing in Soho Square for the Soho Stories app, booked him twice for Stand Up Tragedy, and had a conversation with him as part of my residency. He is a man I am very glad to know and it has been a pleasure getting better acquainted with him.



At the end of March I took a trip up to North with my dad to visit family. While I was there I did a final edit and recorded new opening and closing monologue for To the Heart of It:



On April 16th I went to the Spark London Open Mic in Brixton and told this story:



In the last week of April I got in my submission to the Radio Production Awards which resulted in me being nominated for the Best Online Creator Award:



I also went to my first cognitive behavioural therapy session. This therapist promptly left the job though and it would be months before I managed to get set up with an alternative. I remember thinking it was ironic when I was travelling to that appointment that I had fully come out of my depressive state a few weeks before!

And the other thing I did that week was a GBA road trip to Tunbridge Wells to record this conversation:



Mike is another person who I invited back in November to be a part of my GBA Residency.

The first week of May was busy too!

I saw a screening of The Truth is Out There at Goldsmiths University.

I recorded a conversation with my musical hero Darren Hayman in the Rose and Crown Pub in Walthamstow:



And then the next day I recorded a conversation with Phil Leirness the director of The Truth is Out There and one of the hosts of thye Chillpak Hollywood Hour podcast. This was the first of this years conversations with other podcasters a strand I began in 2011 via skype link up to the I Like You podcast in Canada. But since Phil was in town we recorded it in his hotel near Victoria Station.



I began May by recording the most listened to GBA episode to date with Helen and Ollie from Answer Me This! Followed a few days later by the second most listened to episode to date with Martin (the soundman) from Answer Me This! Followed a few days after that by recording the conversation with Chris Goode.



June brought the final Stand Up Tragedy of the season and a less frantic schedule. A Room Full of Friends (at this point a duo) performed:



On the 7th of June I recorded a conversation with Sheila, my dads ex wife. Sheila sadly passed away this year. My older sisters listened to the unedited conversation we had and it helped them to plan the funeral. I am so glad to have been able to provide them with this resource.

On the 16th of June the first of the weddings of two different old friends of mine who both happen to be called Steve happened. Since it took place near Lancaster Jen and I decided to revisit the town where we lived for 5 years (and met). We recorded a GBA Special during this trip which will probably come out in 2013.





This article about Stand Up Tragedy (and other things) came out in June. Too late to inform audiences about the Leicester Square Theatre run of the show, but a great write up nonetheless.

In the last weekend of June I went to Bristol for my mum's birthday and combined it with recording conversation with Bristolian's of my acquaintance. This is the episode from that trip that has aired so far:



In July I didn't win the Radio Production Award but I was invited to join the Spark London Team full time, doing their social media and running the Hackey Attic Open Mic from September.

August brought the second Getting Better Acquainted Edinburgh Special as I went up to perform for Spark, record some conversations and see some shows. It was while I was at this trip that I decided that I would definitely bring Stand Up Tragedy back. The trip kicked of the Edinburgh season and there was a very fast turnaround for the episodes during that time as they were all with performers doing shows at the festival.

When I was in Edinburgh I was lucky to see some really amazing comedy, theatre and spoken word. I also managed to meet another of my heroes the comedian Eddie Peppitone whose bit was the original inspiration for my Stand Up Tragedy show. Eddie Peppitone is part of The Long Shot Podcast.



I also went away with my writing group on our second writing retreat, where I wrote a first draft of a new play and got even better acquainted with them. This is a conversation I recorded with them at our 2011 retreat:



On the 27th August I was featured in Helen and Olly's Required Listening BBC Radio 5 Live, talking about Getting Better Acquainted and Spark London.

On the 30th August I went to my first every In the Dark event, the Open Mini-Jack Night they ran were hosting in the glasshouse in front of the Wapping Project as part of their Invisible Picture Palace project.

I played them this:



In September it was back to Cardiff for the second Steve wedding of the year. Again I combined the trip with recording a second special about Cardiff and a bunch of conversations, like this one:



Then I returned to London to host the first of my monthly Spark London Open Mic at the Hackney Attic. It was really well attended and we got off to a cracking start. This is a story recorded on one of the Hackney nights:

The Milkman's Round - Eithne Nightingale by Spark London on Mixcloud

Then it was off on a GBA roadtrip to Wokingham. But this one had taken on a mind of its own and had turned into a reunion for a group of friends from University and a chance for us to all meet my friend Richard's new baby. I recorded a few conversations during that weekend which will come out next year. Richard is a frequent guest of GBA, the first of his episodes came out at the start of the year as part of the "3 Posh Boys" season.



In October I turned 31 and happened to record a podcast on the day I did it:



I also began work recording and writing for the Cbeebies Radio show Ministry of Stories. Surprisingly this meant I spent a lot of time for the next two months at the amazing children's writing centre Ministry of Stories. The show started being broadcast on the 17th December and I am really proud of it and so impressed at the hard work of Matt Hill who really brought his A Game to the project. It was a pleasure and a joy working with the staff and volunteers at the MiS.

I'd visited the Invisible Picture Palace a few times after that first one and got to know the people who run In the Dark. They liked my audio and this resulted in me practically living in that glasshouse throughout November!

First up I did this presentation about "In Conversation" podcasting:



The next night I recorded a conversation via Skype with Kevin Allison from the storytelling podcast Risk!



The next night I performed a true story about panic attacks and sleep paralysis at Tea Fuelled Flea Circus at the Hackney Attic. That story was inspired by making this GBA Extra:



Then from the 16th - 21st November I did the 5 night residency at the glasshouse. These episodes will be released daily in the week running up to the 100th Episode of GBA.

The 21st was also the last day of recording at the MiS and on that day I got to meet one of the voices of my childhood: Jenni Murray from Woman's Hour (and our show).

On the last weekend of November I went on a GBA road trip to Colchester, followed by the only wedding that I didn't record conversations at this year.

I finished off November with a GBA road trip to Swindon where I recorded conversations with my Aunt and Uncle that will come out in 2013. I was really glad that making the show gave me the excuse to go and stay with them separately from the rest of my family grouping. Both conversations were really special to me.

In November and December I have been assembling the team to take Stand Up Tragedy into 2013. It feels good to have a wider group of people to carry the inevitable stress that bringing the show back will cause.

I spent Christmas in Prague with my mum. And I am now back in the UK about to spend 3 days with my partner, Jen, doing nothing.

2012 may have began as a very hard time for me but it slowly transformed into one of the best years of my life. So many things have happened. I've met so many new and exciting people. Listeners have increased for GBA, some of whom have reached out and contacted me, forming new connections, sharing new thoughts and experiences. And I have had so many amazing times and opportunities. Everything feels like it has been coming together. I feel I have reached a new level of openness with myself, with my loved ones and in the art I am making.

Crowd Sourced

So last night I was talking to my lovely American friend Liz about my crowdfunding campaign.

I'm running an IndieGoGo campaign to raise enough money to pay the performers doing tragedy at Stand Up Tragedy And also, if the target is reached, to fund some Getting Better Acquainted road trips.

The target is $3,500 dollars. This is a pretty small target compared to most of the campaigns you'll find on IndieGoG. I've reached $540 of the target do far. There are 12 days left till the deadline.

I'm doubtful I will hit it. It is still possible though. And whether the target is hit or not the money is very appreciated and will be put to good use. If you are reading this before March 1st then please contribute what you can.

So the reasons I think it isn't working well are:

1. UK culture is different from US culture. We aren't naturally predisposed to crowdfunding. It seems a bit unseemly. Talking about money. And asking for help and support. Aren't these things best fine through "proper" channels?

2. Many of my friends are not very tech savvy and spend little time online. They have also had a lot of practice at ignoring my communications because I communicate so much. Possibly too much. Many of them won't even know about the campaign, despite the emails and the social network promotion. Friends are the first and most important rung of the crowdfunding ladder and mine generally don't even know what a podcast is and check their emails very rarely (or at least respond to them rarely.)

3. People may think that since Stand Up Tragedy Tickets are £10 on the door that they have already given more than enough to the cause if they have attended or they are going to attend the live show. A point if view I do understand. They may even think, if they don't know me that well, that it is a bit of a con. It isn't. I don't set the ticket prices and I would never ask for money if I didn't need it. SUT may break even. It won't make a profit.

4. We are in the middle of tough finacial times. People are being cautious. Everyone is worse off than they were. Even if they were predisposed to funding independent arts (and many people aren't) they may feel this an inappropriate time to do so. People see art as less important in austerity.

All of the above may well be true but there is a 5th reason: my lack of ability to do the job of fundraising. I may feel like I am being brash and in people's faces with this campaign. But am I?

After talking to Liz I realise that I'm milder than most fundraisers. And sadly for my campaign that's the way it'll remain.

Here are some of the techniques Liz, who has years of fundraising experience and is more culturally in tune with both crowdfunding and podcast culture, suggested:

Sending targeted emails to key people. A key person is someone who has lots of social contacts and a history of contributing to things like this. I could only think if two potential key people. And one of them was taking to me. They are both American. But then she explained that it was all about the people those people might know. And then I could think of a few more. Not that I would feel comfortable directly approaching anyone about this. I don't like the idea of hassling individuals at all. I won't be contacting key people. But it's good to know how people do it.

She then said it was about making the communications clear and simple. Something that I have tried to do but since I often fail in my aims of clarity and brevity I've probably failed to achieve. She said I should make a template email and send that to my key people. Then they just have to fill it in and send it on to their contacts. The idea of this makes me feel a bit queasy. This sort of hard sell doesn't really fit with me. I prefer to respect peoples free will.

When I discussed the problem of my people not being online much she asked if my friends texted. My girlfriend who was also with us balked at this idea. I was more aware of it. I get texts from people telling me about their gigs quite often. It doesn't work on me but it doesn't piss me off. I've occasionally texted close friends about gigs myself. But the idea of texting people to ask them to fund my shows just doesn't work for me. Too intrusive. Too pressurised. I don't want people to feel obliged.

Later I mentioned that when payday comes I'll be contributing to the campaign Liz rolled her eyes and said I'd already paid with my time and effort. I said "Well actually I've already paid over 300 on publicity out of my own pockets, which I may or may not make back! But I can't ask people to give what they can and not give what I can myself."

And this is my biggest problem. I don't like or relate to money. I can't take it seriously. I can't hold it fully in my mind. I'm politically against it. I take it personally too because it's not about raising the money but about what the money can do. So friends aren't deciding not to give me money. They are deciding not to help a friend out. Which is the wrong way to look at it. And I struggle not to see it that way.

But me and my projects exist in the real world. And money is necessary.

If I was a different person I'd send a well written and calculated begging letter to all the richest people I know. I shouldn't care about hassling them. I believe in the redistribution of wealth but I don't want to ask for it.

I'd locate my key people and send them templates, try and get them to hassle their friends using my words.

I would text everyone I know and tell them about the campaign.

But I'm not that person. Which I'm a little bit glad of. And a little bit sad about. But there we have it.

The campaign offers perks. It isn't a begging thing. It's a chance for people to directly fund the arts. To cut out the gatekeepers and go directly from audience to artist. That's why it appealed to me. But it's still ultimately about money. And for many people money is too valuable to part with, even in small amounts, and for others, such as myself, money and art have no real relation to each other. It is hard to connect them up. Apart from of course they do relate very strongly because in this world money controls and influences and restricts and allows everything. And occasionally someone, rarely the artist, will make a lot of money from some art.

Stand Up Tragedy: The Opening Night

Our site is currently being attacked by malware. We are currently sorting this out. In the meantime I thought I'd post about the first night on my occasional blog:

The first night of tragedy is now over, and we got off to a great start. After a swift introduction where I tragically failed to say the word trajectory, we started with a pop! As in, an alternative pop song from The Reactionaries, who reframed the parable of the boy who cried wolf as a story about a character who dies because of his tragic flaw, and implicated the audience in his suicide.

Then Casual Violence disturbed and enchanted the audience with some sketch tragedy, two scenes from their Portable Residency show which you can see in full on 27^th February in Camden’s Etcetera Theatre. Why is this man telling us about the feelings he has for a pillow? Will the little boy in the supermarket ever find his mum? We laughed in all the sad places.

Emily Lewsen then told the true story of a tour taken in Israel: a couple ostracised by their politics. The tour guide takes a fall when her tragic flaws get the group lost. We ponder whether things are dilemmas or facts, and empathy and Prosecco wash away tears by the Sea of Galilee. This is Emily telling a different tale at true story night Spark London:

The Dentist - Emily Lewsen by Spark London on Mixcloud

Then The Reactionaries sang a song about the spirit leaving the body of a dead person. It had a very catchy dance for the choruses; it may well prove to be the next big dance craze to sweep the nation.

Next we had Jacqueline Downs’ The Great Big O performed by Libby Edwards, a tragic story about domestic violence, motherhood, and a sad, mad moment. Moving. Painful. And beautiful. Have a read of it here. This story was sourced from Liars’ League where writers write, actors act and everyone wins. Libby finished telling us the story. The audience clapped.

But where was the next act? A man appeared, asking some people in the front row about the strange lighting on the front of the stage, the line of light bulbs on fake grass, with daffodils scattered between them. This awkward moment began What do you think of it so far? performed by Drunken Chorus, a tragic attempt by a man to perform a double act. The night ended with a dying comedian bleeding to death on the stage lit by a mirror ball.

But then the tragedy was over as The Reactionaries came back on stage and attempted to lead the audience in a sing along. This sing along will end all the nights.

The first night was full of tragedy but it wasn’t one itself. It was, I’m pleased to say, a success.

We’d love to be able to pay the performers who participated. The Stand Up Tragedy team are doing this for a love of tragedy and I’m covering costs out of my day job salary. We hope the show will break even. If audiences keep coming like they did on our opening night, we will. To help us pay the artists we have set up an IndieGoGo campaign. No contribution is too small to be helpful.

We will be releasing extracts from the night as a free weekly podcast via iTunes, SoundCloud and the Stitcher Smart Radio app, so you’ll be able to hear some of the brilliant tragedy I’ve been talking about. The first one will go up on Friday 10^th February 2012.

And now, like the song says, it’s time to go.

Dave Pickering

Host of Stand Up Tragedy

As @amandapalmer says "We are the media"

You may know that I'm running a crowdfunding drive for http://www.standuptragedy.co.uk and http://www.gettingbetteracquainted.co.uk.

You also may know that I'm a loyal promoter and funder of interesting independent art. I have limited means but I give what I can.

If I've ever funded or promoted a project that you do I'd really appreciate some reciprocation.

This is my campaign:



Your contribution would help pay performers and fund interesting audio. Even dollar would be much appreciated. For $10 (£6.50ish) you start getting "perks".

Even if you can't afford to give anything sharing and promoting this campaign to friends with more disposable income would really help too. Compared to most other crowdfunding drives I'm asking for a very small amount but it'd make a world of difference. It's only by supporting each other independently that we can get the art and media we deserve.